Idea Surplus Disorder #102

This week in Idea Surplus Disorder: The cost of being misunderstood, why recurring meetings kill momentum, how to say no more helpfully, and why AI works better when treated like a teammate. Plus: lurking weasel phrases, toothbrush theories, and seven things every kid needs to hear.

And as always, you’ll find a mix of fun finds, practical insights, and thought-provoking quotes to help you lead, live, and think more intentionally.

Ideas + Insights

I suspect some of you who are building cool, new things might need this reminder today: Being misunderstood is the cost of entry.

Your success in life is proportional to your willingness to be misunderstood for long periods of time. Real innovation in any domain is about everyone agreeing with you...later.

In the moment, innovation is painful, because it looks a lot like delusion to the outside world. Being misunderstood is the cost of entry to achieve the extraordinary.

How would this idea work in your organization? A calendar should have zero recurring meetings on it:

Recurring meetings were meant to create alignment, but in reality they sap momentum. They become placeholders for progress rather than engines of it.

Feeling frazzled? You're not alone. Workers are interrupted every two minutes during the workday.

To reflect on your workweek and prepare for the one ahead, try Plus, Minus, Next:

Open your notebook, write the date at the top of a page, and draw three columns. At the top of each column, write “+” for what worked, “–” for what didn’t go so well, and “→” for what you plan to do next.

Then, fill it with events from the past week. Whatever went well or made you happy goes in the first column; any negative events or inaction on your part in the second column; and all plans for the following week in the last column.

Before your next project kicks off, place your preconceived notions in an Assumptions Envelope:

Before a project kick-off or brainstorming meeting, ask everyone to write down their assumptions or preconceived notions on slips of paper. You can either share these out loud or keep them to yourselves. Put the papers into an envelope as a sign that you’re putting these assumptions aside now. This activity helps surface concerns, release tension, and encourage people to come with an open mind.

Want a better way to say no? Try, I can’t do that, but I can do this:

“I have a call during that time, but I can meet between 12-4:30pm. Does anything in that window work for you?”

“I can't approve the entire budget request, but I can allocate 70% of what you're asking for now and revisit the remaining next quarter once we see how the campaign performs.”

“I won’t be able to join the committee ongoing, but I’m happy to do a 1:1 call and be a thought partner to discuss the high level strategy if you want to bounce ideas.”

The Toothbrush Problem:

We treat other peoples’ theories like toothbrushes — no self-respecting person wants to use anyone else’s.

What exactly does "probably" mean, and is more or less than "likely"? The problems of Lurking Weasel Phrases:

Decades later, a NATO study would find something similar: ask 23 officers what ‘likely’ means in terms of probability, and you’ll get a dozen different numbers.

‘Lurking weasel’ phrases were simply a way to avoid decisions: language that sounds authoritative but dodges responsibility. ‘Let the judgment be unmistakable and let it be unmistakably ours,’ as Kent put it.

Even among professionals, the language of such uncertainty was wildly inconsistent. Photo interpreters would use ‘possible’ where he would use ‘probable’. And they used ‘probable’ where Kent would say ‘almost certain’.

How many agreements do you need to reach consensus in your organization? It might be more than you think:

When we try to reach an agreement in our meetings, the number of actual agreements that need to take place rises exponentially as more people are added to the group. With two people, you need one agreement for unanimity. With four people, you need six agreements. With a group of ten, forty-five agreements must be made to come to a consensus on anything.

I seem to get my best results with AI when I treat it like a teammate:

People who treat AI like a teammate, coach it and give it feedback and importantly, get it to ask them questions. The fundamental orientation a lot of people take towards AI is I'm the question asker. AI is the answer giver.

But if you think about AI like a teammate, you say, hey, what are ten questions I should ask about this? Or what do you need to know from me in order to get the best response?"

Seven things every kid needs to hear:

1. I love you
2. I’m proud of you
3. I’m sorry
4. I forgive you
5. I’m listening
6. This is your responsibility
7. You’ve got what it takes

Fun Finds

• The ChatGPT Hyphen.
• Don't have Spotify? Open those links in other services.
• The phony physics of Star Wars.
• Google search without the AI slop.
• An 80,000-year history of the tomato.
• Nihilistic password security questions.

Words of Wisdom

Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. – John Kenneth Galbraith

A man is worked on by what he works on. – Frederick Douglass

We always want to create something new out of nothing, and without research, and without long hard hours of effort. But there is no such thing as a quantum leap. There is only dogged persistence - and in the end you make it look like a quantum leap. – James Dyson

Most history is guessing, and the rest is prejudice. – Will Durant 

The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence. – Jiddu Krishnamurti

Up Next From Filament

Every month, Filament delivers an incredible mix of free programming and professional development.

• May 30 | EmpowerHER
  • At this EmpowerHer session, we’ll explore how to move toward what’s next with curiosity, courage, and connection. Whether you're imagining a career shift, nurturing a hidden passion, or simply wondering what else might be possible—you’ll find the tools and conversations to help you begin.
• June 6 | New Skills for Work & SuperCollider
  • Build transformational innovation into an everyday organizational habit as you unlock ways to reimagine challenges, unlock your team's creative potential, experiment fearlessly, and turn bold ideas into actionable solutions. 

You can find links to sign up for all of our upcoming events, including PlayDays, EmpowerHer, NSFW, and SuperCollider here.