Idea Surplus Disorder #107

In this week's Idea Surplus Disorder, I'll share two great podcasts with the Filament team. We'll also discuss the death of daydreaming, explore the imaginary pressure of “what people will think,” identify the cause of meeting hangovers, and wonder if missing out is actually the point.

And as always, you’ll find a mix of fun finds, practical insights, and thought-provoking quotes to help you lead, live, and think more intentionally.

I'm Matt Homann, and I'm glad you're here.

Filamental Podcasts

I had a wonderful conversation with Dr. Myriam Hadnes on her Workshops Work podcast. Give it a listen or watch the video.

And our own Lauren Colbert took a deep dive on meetings with Chelsea Stuck. Here's the podcast and the video.

Ideas + Insights

I hate that our generation has witnessed the death of daydreaming:

Now that we have so many ways to fill even the smallest fragments of time, a subtle shift in our psychology of expectation also follows. We are more likely to experience waiting as an unpleasant delay rather than as anticipation. Waiting has become a problem to be solved, rather than a normal human experience. When we are accustomed to easily filling time, opportunities for anticipation, like opportunities for daydreaming, disappear.

What if missing out is the point?

What if missing out isn't a failure of optimisation but a condition of being human? What if the very fact that we cannot have everything is what makes anything matter at all? Scarcity isn't always the enemy of meaning — it's the condition that can make meaning possible

Related:

When I notice myself worrying about 'what other people will think,' I find I'm usually not worried about any single person's opinion. If I pick a specific person, I'm rarely concerned about what they will think. What I fear is the collective opinion in my head. It's imaginary.

Hybrid (still) isn't working:

You cannot effectively manage teams of remote or hybrid workers using the methods you relied on when all employees were in the office together. Doing so creates major problems for organizational culture, for how people are managed day-to-day, for how they are promoted, and for performance overall. Re-creating the cooperation and collaboration that happens in the office in a virtual context requires new rules and policies—as well as mandates that reel in some current practices.

And in a similar vein, let's not minimize the drawbacks of virtual meetings:

By now, the drawbacks of virtual meetings are well-known. In our focus groups, we examined two of the most pernicious: They dampen productivity, and they are less effective in generating useful ideas. We learned that virtual meetings are more frequent, in part, because they are used to address issues that people previously solved by sticking their heads in colleagues’ offices to ask for assistance.

The number of participants in virtual meetings tends to be larger than in in-person meetings, because there are no constraints on space. And because peripheral people are included, the meetings are less productive. We also heard that attendees of remote meetings often multitask and don’t pay full attention.

The result is that not only are participants not contributing meaningfully but also the hosts of meetings have to hold “postmeeting meetings” to explain to the people who were distracted what they missed.

Yet, a full return to office might not be doing what you think it is:

The return-to-office mandate can be a deal-breaker for those balancing childcare, eldercare, or other requirements with their career. In many cases, this falls on women in the workplace; however, it can affect any worker at some stage in their career journey. Upwork’s research said that nearly two-thirds (63%) of C-suite leaders whose companies have mandated an office return of some sort say the policy has led a disproportionate number of women to quit. Gartner’s research also showed women’s intent to stay at 11% lower with strict RTO mandates.

What causes your meeting hangovers?

• Irrelevance of the topics discussed (59%)
• Lack of a clear agenda or objectives (59%)
• Poor time management (53%)
• Lack of actionable outcomes or follow-up (48%)
• Unequal (39%) or low (38%) participation
• Ineffective facilitation (30%)

This list of modern-day social etiquette includes these gems:

• When someone tells a story, ask a follow-up question before telling your own. Part of etiquette is kind of feigning interest - if someone told you a story they are clearly passionate about, it is kind to ask a follow-up question to show that you listened.
• Take both AirPods out when you’re having a conversation with someone.
• Understand the purpose of a group chat - not for logistics, not for disagreements - those should happen 1:1. And don’t blow up peoples phone all day unless its something that’s gunna make them laugh later.
• Always help someone if they’re cleaning.

Thinking about a career change? This mega-prompt will help an AI work with you to explore the realities of your new job.

Finally, this is a fantastic "hack" to address impostor syndrome:

Replace “I don’t know what I’m doing” with “I’m learning as I go.” Yes, it can feel cheesy to talk to yourself, but research shows that these kinds of self-affirmations activate the brain systems associated with reward, so you’ll feel good about the process.

Fun Finds

• Forward an email to Snitcher and it will tell you if it is likely spam or phishing. Then it will delete it.
• This is pretty useful if you're a regular podcast listener: email a screenshot from your podcast player's screen to podcastmagic@sublime.app and you'll get a clip and transcript back in your inbox.
• A collection of buttons I'd like to press.
• Songscription turns any music clip into sheet music. Pure wizardry.
• How to avoid mosquito bites.

Words of Wisdom

Taste is the power of relishing or rejecting whatever is offered for the entertainment of the imagination. – Oliver Goldsmith

I don’t know anything about music. My job is to listen—to feel whether it’s alive. — Rick Rubin

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. – Friedrich Nietzsche

The only way we can make the most of our lives is to make the most of our moments. – Cleo Wade

I will only say that the worst jobs are not the hardest jobs. The worst job is the job you know is wrong for you, but you stay in it anyway. – John Hodgman

Smell is a potent wizard that transports us across a thousand miles and all the years we have lived. – Hellen Keller

They had drifted apart, as people do when they promise to stay in touch; the ones who are going to stay in touch don't need to promise. – Edward St. Aubyn

Up Next From Filament

Every month, Filament delivers an incredible mix of free programming and professional development. You can find links to sign up for all of our upcoming events, including PlayDays, EmpowerHer, NSFW, and SuperCollider here.

Now Reading

If you've made it this far, here's what I'm enjoying right now:

• The Four Conversations by Blair Enns: One of the best "sales" books I've read in a long time. Worth it just for the examples of language you can use with prospects on the sales journey.
• Alchemy by Rory Sutherland: A deep dive into counterintuitive thinking from one of the best advertising minds in the last fifty years.
• A Story is a Deal by Will Storr: I've just started this one on the science of storytelling, but am liking it so far.